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Final stages - Symptoms and deterioration

Martin235
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My mum has entered a new phase and we have spoke to a few doctors who just keep telling us these symptoms are normal at this stage of disease. Lung cancer stage 4 - last october told spread to lymph nodes. No treatment available.

My mum wont ask how long they predict she has left but im slowly seeing her deteriorate fast of the last few weeks and it scares me as i dont know if this is the end or not. They are willing to do another scan to see what the problem is regarding eating - doctors not said but family are suggesting it may have spread to the stomach - does lung cancer spread to stomach. 

These are symptoms that have happened over last few months but decline is seen in last 2 weeks mainly.

She cant go out and is house bound now, can do little jobs but very breathless, struggles getting down stairs and has to stop half way down.

Constant breathless unless resting in chair

Constant coughing

Medicine and food coming out nose.

Nose bleeding on and off

Chest pains in ribs and sickness - vomited blood (mouthful) on one occasion last week.

Dehydrated - was given iv drip

Not drinking much, sipping water / tea

Not eating much - will eat what can but it wont go down - small mouthfuls of a dinner once or twice a day. 

Breathlessness last week to point couldnt talk - said feels like shes drowing when we got her to hospital.

Weight has come off, fingers look like starting to swell,

No acistes just very skinny - she has lost so much weight over past 6 months.

Stomach pains - constantly holding stomach but prescribed morphine but refuses to take it as she believes thats only for end of life 

As her primary carer we have not got any help from macmillan and she refuses anyone to help, im starting to feel i need help as shes just getting worse. How long does this process last for and how bad does it get. I dont want her to suffer but i dont know what to do as i cant be there 24/7.

 

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    Martin

     

    Contact your doctor or MacMillan direct. They are busy people and make sure you keep onto them. My wife took ill extremely quickly and my doctor and MacMillan were brilliant. Don't struggle on your own. Maybe contact a moderator on this forum and ask if they can direct you to somebody. It is extremely hard watching somebody suffer and the feeling of tiredness and helplessness. Not to mention needing time out for you too. Please reach out to MacMillan today.

    Andy

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    I m very scare about your mum condition...my sis also at last stage of lung cancer...n drs also denay to continue any treatment...we are also in trouble condition...tension is increase day by day...she diagnosed last stage before 1 month...i read ur mum condition...now  i m scaring ...my sis will have to face this sitaution also...:-(

    Her cancer is also spread to lymph node...but we are taking help by God..quran versis...due to this..my sis condition is better now...

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    Hi Martin, My dad too was ill very quickly with stage 4 lung cancer after diagnosis, only 8 weeks between us being aware of the cancer and his passing. These were 8 long weeks of deteriorating symptoms, many of which you have shared that are common at the end-of-life stage. I can't say that it does or does not spread to the stomach but sadly it is very normal to find eating a struggle as the disease progresses. If your mum has lung tumours pressing on her oesophagus this will also cause more eating discomfort. We struggled to get on top of my dads pain in the end as they can only manage/increase morphine administration slowly being a controlled drug. Your mum is not alone in her views of taking morphine as a cancer patient, but you must tell her that morphine is used for people for general pain management in many situations in life. From my experience with my dad I urge you to get on top of her pain as soon as possible as this can take a while and can be a struggle. You don't want to see your loved one suffering and then passing in pain. We had to and it completely haunts my soul. I would hope that she will realise that you need support, but do call Macmillan for advice as soon as you can. It may be that they can visit your mum and put her at ease of their support. In the least they can support you initially whilst you bring her around. I will share with you what the Hospice nurses shared with us during their time supporting our family. They suggested that they predict timeframes from the visible deterioration they see over a certain timeframe - so if there is a marked deterioration over months, then they suggest a 'months' timeframe, and if marked deterioration over weeks, then a timeframe of weeks. However this is a very loose prediction and it can be sudden for some people. My dad was the opposite and held on for over a week at the end against the odds after being suggested days. I urge you to spend as much time as you can with your mum whilst she is 'with it', treat every day as if it could be your last with her and tell her how much she means to you. My dad, as seems to be normal with lung cancer patients, slept for longer and longer each day and withdrew from us over the weeks as he moved toward his passing. Make the most of the time you have now to have conversations you can cherish. Please let me know if you want any more information on my experience with terminal lung cancer, but take into consideration that everyone varies in their journey. I wish you so much strength through this difficult time. Debbie
  • Offline in reply to Needingstrength

    In last stage of your dad...is he getting any treatment..like chemo or radio

  • Offline in reply to Needingstrength

    What are the major things to look for? My dad does amazing then seems shocking and it yo-yos he has stage 4 lung which has spread to lymph glands liver kidneys and around the lung, I’m struggling to deal with it when he’s good because you prepare yourself for the worst. They are giving him palettive chemo every three weeks he had last one on Thursday started with sickness yesterday like last time but has just experienced a nose bleed, his breathing also worse and he hasn’t eaten anything today. I’ve managed to get him upstairs and he got upset which is NOT alike him... think he’s emotionally drained as well, but if there’s anything to look for in last stages it could help me to be prepared ... 

    thank you x 

  • Offline in reply to Needingstrength

    Hi Debbie

    My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer which had spread to the brain and liver on Christmas Eve an a month ago we was told he has 3-6 months. He's still takinf steroids to control the brain met but he's starting to not feel like eating, he can't go out, his legs and feet have swelled and he has a lot of difficulty breathing. I'm only 22 and have no siblings, I feel guilty and upset all the time. I'm not sure what else to expect or have any idea how to help him.

    Any advice would be great

     

  • Offline in reply to Emmalou12

    I live in Upholland Skelmersdale Lancashire, I have a little girl but if you are any where near I will come and help you, please get all support you can!!! Ring district nurse, get the nurse from the hospice the cancer nurse hey are fantastic, even if it’s just for a chat, things are going to get hard so get organised get these people involved to lean on. Do not be alone please xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Emmalou12

    Hi, I am in the same situation as you :( only child no father around and the gp has told her she has entered the next stage of the cancer. She has gone down very fast and it's so scary. We need to be there for them and make sure we express ourselves and talk to others that want to listen. Please message me if you ever need to just talk.

    Take care Yasmine x

  • Offline in reply to Yasminetc

    Hey Yasmin this is my first time posting on this forum but I saw your post and can totally relate. I'm also an only child, with no dad. And I found out yesterday out of the blue that my mum has stage 4 breast cancer that has spread. 

    I haven't been able to find anyone in a similar situation but thought I'd reach out in case you wanted to chat. I'm at a total loss about what to do or think xx

  • Offline in reply to mp4691

    Hi my mum has also been told she has stage four breast cancer and it had come at such a shock xx

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