Together we will beat cancer


Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

1 Jul 2018 23:59

Having recovered pretty well from total hysterectomy in Feb,due to endometrial cancer, things were looking up. I may have overdone things recently. Now I have an uncomfortable...make that painful belly and am not sure how seriously to take it.  It's most likeIy muscle strain from lifting too much. I opted for no regular checks post op, but have open access to clinic with any concerns.

The problem is I'm now looking after my husband, who had a stroke five weeks ago. I can't drop everything to pop off to clinic. I feel more vulnerable now because I need to be well to help him recover. It seems like I'm more aware of possible problems as my health will have an impact on him. Our younger son lives here, and is a big help, otherwise there'd be even more to do.

There's good local stroke support services, rehab people visiting several times a week, often at short notice. I need to keep the house tidy, and keep reminding hubby to do certain things rehab-wise, which feel like nagging.I know the team who visit are for his benefit, but one is starting to irritate me. She says his left arm (which doesn't work properly) is hers, she's in charge of it. No, missus. She says she'll be showing him how to cook again, In our kitchen. Shouldn't she be asking if that's what we'd like?

I'm an introvert by nature. These last few months. lurching from my health problems to my husband's, it feels like other people are taking over our lives, even when it's meant well. 

Lordy, I hope there's a "rant" category to post this under!

Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

2 Jul 2018 14:38 in response to gamechanger

Hi there gamechanger. .

I wish I could help or say something as your going through such a hard time ... you must feel like the walls are coming in on you .. but don't give up... you've come so far ... so I'm sending you a vertual hug to help you through ... take care ... Chrissie ❤

Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

17 Jul 2018 20:36 in response to gamechanger

Hello again,

I have just seen your post, I was wondering how you and Mr were doing, sounds tough at the moment, try not look at what housework needs doing, I find a big bunch of wild flowers makes a great focal point away from the cobwebs, If I ever get to grips with this system. I will try to message you, and let you know my advise for the "kind rehab lady".

Meanwhile you are doing a great job, he has you, and thats all that matters. but you need some you time also, please take care, and rant as much as you need to...


Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

18 Jul 2018 20:27 in response to Ptmy

Hi P, hope you're okay. Thanks for asking. I posted at the end of a long day, should have known better!

The rehab lady mentioned has been on leave for two weeks, I'll try to be more relaxed about her style when she returns. In the meantime, hubby made a moussaka last week with the aid of son as sous chef. Today he's cooked a fab Indian dish from scratch with minimal help. So I doubt he'll want anyone showing him how to use the kitchen! 

He still has trouble moving his left arm/hand. We get out for walks though - we were lucky enough to see three otters playing in the river. Amazing. 

My aches and niggles have mostly settled down, am being more careful with gardening and the like.Yes things do get stressful at times, but it could all have been much worse. Will look into booking a holiday soon so we have something to look forward to.

I hope everything's alright for you and yours.

Regards, gamechanger

Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

28 Jul 2018 20:40 in response to gamechanger



I posted on the general bit, but needed to let you know, my 12 weeks were over this week, and it looks like I've been let off  for good behaviour, no sign of big C, just a partial collapse of right lung,still not out of woods yet, more tests next week, but looks much more positive,.

Hope hubby is still progressing, thinking of you both.

You were thinking of a break away, we have just done 2 nights in the lake district, didnt realise we could use our bus passes, (you dont sound as old as us), but we had a ball, jumping of at each village, having a few drinks, then on to the next one, they say life is what you make it, we do.

Still hav'nt told my sons yet, 41 and 35,  I'm trying but cant quite find the right words, they need to know, but now that it's not so bad, do I tell them the whole story or just the positive bits.




Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

29 Jul 2018 00:26 in response to Ptmy

Hi there, great news! Work in progress but sounds positive all things considered.Glad to hear you had a couple of days away. That's on the card here soon, if I can get organized...

We saw a couple of old friends today, which was lovely. It's a little hard hearing I need to look after myself and keep well to look after hubby, or he's in trouble. Do they think I don't know that? I know it was well meant.

I told our sons when there was something definite to say. I didn't want them thinking we were hiding things from them. Bear in mind, if you don't set an example of being open, they might not feel they can tell you things.

regards, gamechanger


Feeling vulnerable and I don't like it

30 Jul 2018 09:47 in response to gamechanger



I've told them, the yougest lives close to us, so we told him and his wife face to face, but my eldest lives in London, and I had to tell him by phone, which was much harder, both said they knew something was not right, so much for sheltering them, but both took it well, where as my best friend totally freaked out, she was so cross with us for not letting her support us, but obvioulsly is still there for us now.

Anyway, you get yourselves away for a couple of days, sunshine is such a natural lifter, 

Speak soon P