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Feel lost

20 Sep 2019 16:09

The most important person in my life has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she has been my mom , dad and every family member in between that I.didnt have and it's so hard watching her decline so rapidly. The.macmillan nurse has said she's probably only got a matter of weeks which is so hard.and I can't get my head.around it. She taught me everything I know and she's.been part of my life since I.was a.toddler. 

To make things harder I have an.operation next week.that I.was going to cancel but I have waited a year and it's causing me problems and it would have meant coming off the waiting list and probably fall around Christmas or later than that...So I've made.the hard decision to.have it anyway but I'm scared I've done the wrong thing and am going to miss previous.time it that she will need me. I should be a lot better after a week but I'm scared something will happen before then....Such a.**** decision to have to make Sad

just feeling really lost like I'm waiting for.something but don't know what or when and just wish things were different.

Weeks could mean so many different things. She's not eating much.and very tired, weak and jaundice but still seems very much herself so.its hard to get my head.round. Had.anyone got experience with pancreatic.cancer.and how long it was from.someone still seeming like themselves in.a lot of ways but you can.see a week on week decline especially over 3 weeks to something suddenly taking a.turn for the worse?

Feel lost

21 Sep 2019 08:37 in response to ktann

Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... it's truly heart breaking to see your wonderful mum go through this ... cancer is so crule ...

You don't say what op your having ... some ops are easily postponed as non urgent... some are more in need of doing things A S A P ... but only you and your surgeon know that .. you could give them a ring and tell them what's happening, they may have something that they could change ... 

You could also call Marie Currie and ask them for someone you could chat to .. as no one can say how long your mum has .. everyone is different .. some can go quick, some hold on longer .. but you have to follow your heart ...  but ask advice about your up ..

Sending you a vertual hug....  Chrissie x