Hi Reb, I actually typed a response to this question, a good one I thought, but it didn't register for some reason. That has happened a lot to me since the forum was revised. I have contacted the moderators a few times and they are puzzled as to what's happening. I'm reluctant to respond anymore because obviously, its' a waste of my time. In any case, this response will bump your question to the front of the line, so I will keep an eye on any responses. Thanks for posting this, and yes, cancer has changed me. Too bad my original response got lost somewhere.
That's a hard question to answer - it might be better addressed at our families who aren't as likely to be subjective and maybe amended to include living with cancer. Many people on this forum, including me, have incurable conditions and frankly after cancer I will be dead!
I've found that the roller-coaster ride has had positive and negative effects, the balance of which varies from week to week.
I am less tolerant of fools and red tape, yet in other ways I have become more patient as things which used to seem urgent and important seem transient and meaningless. Party politics, wealth, consumer goods.
Looking into the abyss and confronting your own mortality can be more than a little sobering.
Dave could not sum it up better, not only but including "facing your own mortality is sobering".
I am far more tolerant of people, you dont know what private hells other people live through. I live life much more intensly, there is little of it left. The beautiful early summer mornings are a paradise as are flowing rivers, thunderstorms, sunset, the sight of venus and jupiter in the sky last night. Yesterday my friends little 9 month old baby girl gave me a smile that melted my heart, in that smile I felt the possibilty for whole of the future of humanity. Property, assets, money are all worthless, I will be taking nothing with me but memories of this incredible world and the people I've known. So yes did I change after being diagnosed with cancer, and as Dave puts it "after cancer" I will be dead.
After my treatment I truly thought I had been cured of cancer and life changed for the better if I am honest. I became more tolerant, noticed my surroundings and it felt fantastic to be alive and well. I found a new zest for life and was less complacent. Six years on I was told the cancer had returned and it was incurable - however I remained full of hope and have tried many new treatments believing I may beat the odds. Sadly, over the past few months I now know I wont beat the disease and that my time is very limited. I now feel quite poorly, quite insular and sad, and definitely understand the intolerance that Dave feels. I guess what I am trying to say is that it depends where you are on the cancer journey as to how you change in a positive or negative way.
Just wondering how you feel Reb? All the best. Max x
I can relate to everything that has been said in previous posts. In the beginning when I was told it was incurable I was still very upbeat and believed I could beat this but now I know I cant. More and more frequently I lose myself in depression.
I, too, often lose replies after having written quite a lot of text. Really frustrating and I usually give up.
Hi I only got diagnosed in lung cancer February ,cancer hasn't exactly changed me as I had been expecting it to visit as so many of my family memebers died from it .However saying that it has made me feel sad as I am a little younger than the rest of the cancer hit family who got diagnosed generally in their mid 60's and were gone before 70.Maybe they got it early and my survival chances are better I certainly don't want to go anywhere but the thought of exisiting on one type of therapy and then perhaps when that fails having to go through another therapy fills me with complete horror.We are not brave cancer fighters, we are doing what we can to stay here for ourselves and our families ,my children are young adults so I am lucky as they are not youngsters but I still want to be here for them and my husband .A little of me is angry as I have never smoked and have exercised and tried to keep my weight down all my adult life in the knowledge that one day I may develop a cancer ,but I never thought it would be a lung cancer which is badly researched and poorly supported as it mostly effects smokers oh yes one of the worst general outcomes .Great .
After diagnosis, I certainly became more appreciative of the simple things we tend to overlook in our busy lives. I think I've had a 'head in the sand' attitude to having Cancer, but having recently found out that my primary cancer has recurred and is terminal, I'm viewing life differently again! Just like Max says, I think it depends on where you are along this cancer path.
My latest results seemed to intensify my personality trait of 'needing to get things done' (my way of coping!) but finally, I've realised that there'll always be a 'To Do' list, and it's now a case of making those things 'To Do,' meaningful, memorable and cherishable!
Are you pressing Reply instead of Post Now? I ask because I'm using my wife's iPad and the Reply button is visible when typing but the Post Now button is hidden by the virtual keyboard.
Hi Dave, I'm clicking on "Post now" as that's the only option for this box to reply, but thanks for the reply. Chuckie, I'm not too familiar with the "copy and paste" way of doing things, but I will check it out though. Thanks for that tip and I will keep that in mind for future reference when I type what I feel is a good reponse.
I have read all the other responses here and they are reflective of a lot of my thoughts on this topic.
