Together we will beat cancer


Devastated & scared

16 Oct 2019 10:00

Hi all, my name is hazel & im 38 years old. I was dignoised with stage 4 cancer yesterday. I have cancer of unknown primary. Which means they don't know, where my original cancer started. I have had tests done. I was told yesterday I'm stage 4. That I have been thru enough tests, that they don't see any point trying to find were it originally started. As my cancer has spread. I'm in agonising pain in my tummy. My cancer is in my adominal wall & above my bowel. I was told I have only have less than a year to live. I'm floored with devastation, anger & it's feels so final. My husband & family are devastated. It's up to me if I try chemo, but they are unsure if it make much difference now. I can't take it in & I'm really scared. Anyone else had similar experience or advice?. I'm going out my mind with worry. Thank you. Hazel. 

Devastated & scared

16 Oct 2019 10:45 in response to Hmacbeth

Hi there ..

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... it's cancer beond crule ... l think once we have cancer we know we could get that news any time .. so here, we don't just empathize,  we live it too ... 

Sinse my diagnosis,  I just try to fill every day as much as l can .. make as many good memories as possible... and live in the day .. no one cancer or not don't know if we have tomorrow.... there's a few on here, given that diagnosis are pushing their way further then given ... 

But my heart goes out to you ,   cancer sucks ...  sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Devastated & scared

16 Oct 2019 12:36 in response to Hmacbeth

Hi Hazel,


I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It must be devastating for you all. You sound like such a strong person.

My mam was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer yesterday as well. She has oesophageal cancer which has spread to her bones. She’s not able to eat or drink so has a feeding tube in. We didn’t ask the ‘how long’ question, we’re just focusing on trying to shrink the cancer, symptom control and trying to live life.

Really hope they can control your pain as I’m sure it must be difficult to try and make decisions.

Thinking of you and your family

Tricia x

Devastated & scared

16 Oct 2019 12:47 in response to Hmacbeth

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear this, I can't imagine what you are going through. I have no experience or advice but I think it's a case of deciding whether you want quality of life over quantity.  My heart truly goes out to you. I think good symptom management is the issue here, you want the pain to be controlled and to feel as well as you possibly can in the time you have left. 

I'm sending you so much love & hugs and to your family, and I hope that you also decide what's the important thing in life now, is to love and be loved.


Thinking of you xxx

Devastated & scared

20 Oct 2019 01:02 in response to Hmacbeth

I just got diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago it was just my kidneys then but today I got told my lungs abdomen and pelvis now as well. And it's stage 4 I also am so scared also I now have irregular heartbeat which they say is very serious. Two weeks ago I thought it was a water infection now I have this. I am so scared I won't wake tomorrow