Cancer Research UK on Google+ Cancer Research UK on Facebook Cancer Research UK on Twitter

Let's beat cancer sooner


19 Mar 2017 20:27

New to this. I lost my mum 5 weeks ago after she battled with womb cancer and just lost the love of my life, my husband 11 days ago from Stage 4 lung cancer. Feeling very overwhelmed at the moment and been busy organising his funeral for this Friday. It would have been his 51st birthday tomorrow the 20th and I have just written him a card. I am planning to put it on his coffin at his cremation. Is this weird behaviour? Not too sure what I'm supposed to be doing and have so much on my plate at the moment. I'm due back at work this week, apart from Friday of course. 

Re: Devastated

19 Mar 2017 21:05 in response to Bebeblubelle

Hello Bebeblubelle,

On behalf of all the team here at Cancer Chat I want to offer our sincere condolences on the loss of both your mum and husband.

It is perfectly normal to feel as overwhelmed as you feel right now so I thought I'd send you the link we have on coping with grief:  I hope this helps.

Please feel free to post here any time that you need to, we are here for you.

Thinking of you at this difficult time,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Devastated

20 Mar 2017 11:57 in response to Bebeblubelle

hiya Bebeblubelle,

so sorry for your lost your mum and your husband, couldnt imagine what you are feeling right now.

theres nothing wrong with putting his birthday card on his coffin, do what makes you feel a little comfort.

my dad has been told that he has terminal cancer of the lungs, his having chemo atm to prolong his life, we spending as much time with him as much as we can.

have you got children with your hubby? please dont rush bk to work hun, speak with your manager they should understand.

take care hun we all here if you need the support xxx tina

Re: Devastated

20 Mar 2017 20:36 in response to 2017tina

Thanks so much Tina,

No we never did have kids and no real reason other than we threw all our time and energy into doing up houses and enjoying out time together. My hubby decided not to go down the conventional treatment route as he wanted a bit more quality to enable him to continue working on our new development which he tried so hard to do up until nearly two weeks ago. The sadness he will never see it complete and I'm living on site in a caravan, Thank goodness Spring is on its way! 

Hope you have loads of quality time with your Dad too and that he finds the strength to get him through his treatment.

Work may keep my mind occupied over the next couple of days until his funeral.

Thank you for your support xxxxxxx. 

Re: Devastated

20 Mar 2017 20:37 in response to Moderator Renata

Thank you, I will check it out. Thank goodness for sites like this xxxxx


Re: Devastated

20 Mar 2017 21:54 in response to Bebeblubelle

Hi, I'm so sorry to see you lost your mum and husband so close together. I'd already brought my dad a birthday card before he passed away suddenly. I wrote inside it and placed it inside his coffin. It's not weird at all. Work might be a good distraction for you. I took redundancy just before my dad was unwell, I went crazy at home and couldn't cope as he lived next door. I had to get another job to get me away from it all for a couple of days a week. Have you got much support around you?