Well I haven't been posting and didn't realise how much this site has been helping me til I crashed - so I'm back!!
I put off decisions re treatment options for breast cancer until tomorrow so I could enjoy Christmas after having two ops (as some of you will know hi guys!!). Anyway I was able to let go and have a great time and I think I wanted to forget cancer so stopped posting here too!
Well once January came so did reallity and wham I got that feeling back ( I know you know what I mean). I mustv done such a good job letting go because it was awful. January I find is a bit of a downer anyway so I was a bit low and at a loss as to what to do regarding treatment so was in a bit of a difficult place and still am and mtg is tomorrow!!
I had been trying to contact my manager all last week to let him know I've possibly got to have yet a third op etc etc but he was unavailable. Then on Friday I received a letter from him saying he wants a mtg asap to discuss my sick record and the impact on the service!! This floored me and upset and crying I called him and told him i thought it was disgusting and told him I'm not well enough for all that!! Can u beleive it.
I have had trouble functioning since and been having a nightmare that I'm burning alive in a fire and can't get out!! It's horrendous - my doctor gave me a letter to send him which I sent!!
I'm just starting to pick up from this today and need support so here I am. I've been distracted from options which I thought I would research last weekend but could hardly get up let alone anything else!!
So I'm back - in a sorry old state!!
p.s. Hope all my friends here are well x