Hi

This is such a distress to all family as we spend time watching and waiting. My hubby was at home during his whole journey with cancer (three years terminal Mesothelioma). His 'gargle' noises were lessened by the doctor giving him some medicine (sorry cannot recall name) and we had community nurses on call so help with advice over the phone (arranged through GP and palliative care team).  Sadly I do not think anyone knows how long this period can last (for us it was 5 days ) and my hubby was 'just tired' in his words.The doctor visited on the Friday evening and though my hubby did not want any information I did ask (out of earshott of course) about timescale and was advised 'probably no longer than a week now'.  In the event we had the family (children, grandchildren (6 and 1) playing around him the following day and he slipped away peacefully that night.

Many reading your post will understand the struggle and do take support from around you if possible. May your Dad's passing be peaceful and come and talk on the forum as and when you feel it may help.

Regards.Jules54

Hello Lynne.  There is some very helpful information on this website about what to expect when a loved one is dying.  I attach a link. 

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../final-days

I hope your dad passes peacefully and that you will eventually come to peace with what has  happened.  Annie

Hi Lynne,

There is nothing I can say that will ease this situation for you. I have been through this with my mum, who initially had breast cancer for 12 years, before she developed metastases in her brain, bones, liver and lungs.

Having watched mum struggle in the same way as your dad, I was glad when she finally gave up her fight and was at peace and pain free. I know that this sounds awful, but she suffered so much in that last year, that it was a relief to see it all come to an end. Watching this must be extremely distressing for you and your mum. The 'rattle' you describe comes near the end. My mum only had it on her last day.

You must be shattered if this has been going on since Monday. I am thinking of and praying for you all and, hope that your dad has a peaceful passing.

Remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx.

Hiya same experience beginning of the year it varies with each individual but my dad had passed away in 6 days from when syringe driver was in. 

He will go when he is ready and although he is suffering know he will be at peace soon. 

Xx

Thank you so much for your kind words , we are now on Friday 27th and there has been some change . I think he just doesn’t want to leave us yet .

the rattle seems to have stopped it’s just gasps of air then nothing for 20-30 seconds and not responsive at all . 

I’m past the exhausted stage now . 

Thank you for the link . I really do appreciate it . 

Lynne x