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Coping with a loss of a parent

14 May 2019 01:30

Hi everyone, my last post explained how my mum was getting worse and just a big paragraph to explain what my family has been going through. But unfortunately on Easter Sunday i lost my beautiful mum. I am broken. I was never one to talk to anyone about how I feel and I was a very closed book and generally just found it very difficult to show emotion which killed me inside. Towards the final month of mums life I let my guard down with mum and only mum. But now I am just constantly in bits 24/7 crying my absolute eyes out. I have never felt pain like this. I am only 17 years old, and haven’t really experience life ethier. She was the strongest woman I have ever met and will forever be my inspiration. I know she is no longer suffering, but I am so lost without her. Her wishes were to pass away at home and peacefully which is exactly what happened. Looking after someone so close to home completely changed me. I have never lost anyone close to me before and the first person I lose is one of the most important. I just don’t know how to cope or what to do? 

Coping with a loss of a parent

14 May 2019 23:55 in response to Butterfly01

Im so sorry for your loss. It’s the first time I e been in here but unfortunately  I lost my mum in August after a long gruelling battle with cancer.

I feel your pain it’s the day that anyone dreads and the realisation of it all is the hardest thing.

The only thing I can say is take one step at a time. Sending you hugs XX 

Coping with a loss of a parent

15 May 2019 14:56 in response to Marie026

Honestly all I can say is

One step in front of the other

One day at the time

Your mum will be there every step of the way

About 4days after my Mum passed I was walking down the road to go and see my Dad and started to get very upset and was talking out loud saying Mum if your there please show me your ok - the next second a feather floated down in front of me which I immediately picked up and its still sititng in my purse

When I got to my Dad's house I told him what had happened and he saifd that he was standing looking out the kitchen window that same time and saw a feather float down in the garden

It might just be a very moulty bird but I like to think it was a sign from Mum that she was ok

And in the last 18months i've had quite a few things where it stopped and thought is that Mum - I do hope so

 

Coping with a loss of a parent

15 May 2019 15:34 in response to Butterfly01

Hi Butterfly,

You are spot on with all that you said. As well as having had cancer myself, I have over the years lost12 members our my family to cancer so I do know how you feel.

You must feel it even more as you are so young and are at the time of life when you need a mothers help, advice and support. A mother is so much more than just a mother, They were so many differnt hats and we do miss them so much. I lost mine 13 years ago to breast cancer and I still miss her. I always say, we never really get over losing a loved one; we just learn how to live on without them as hard as it may be. 

All I can say to you is that a part of your mother lives on in you as our mothers help shape the persons we are.  Take care, sending best wishes to you, Brian

Coping with a loss of a parent

17 May 2019 14:13 in response to Butterfly01

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My mum died on 29th March last year, so I can only imagine how tough it is for you right now. Mum had breast cancer in 2009, given the all clear 2015 then had lung/liver/bones diagnosis the following year. I suppose we're all still reeling.

It's not advice, but you'll find your way through all these emotions. I would say to expect to feel every emotion under the sun at different times during the process. Be kind to yourself now, and in the future and somehow, you may not know how, you will emerge a strong person.

Sending you my sympathies.

T