Convincing myself I'm ill

8 Nov 2019 18:30

Hi Folks,

I have been on the internet for days and days, visiting Dr Google, and I have pretty much convinced myself that I have a Brain Tumor.....I'm a 36 year old male, healthy with no major family history of Cancer to speak of.

That's the first time I have actually written it down, and looking at it makes me feel like an absolute clown. I can't help feeling this way, and I have never been more scared about anything in my life. 

On Wednesday morning, having not slept a wink the night before (not due to anything other then going back to work after annual leave!) I noticed a kind of pressure in my head. I didn't really think much of it and went about the rest of my day. However, yesterday I noticed it was still kinda there, in the background, and I then noticed some pins and needles in my right hand and foot (mostly my hand though).

Well, to Google I went, I didn't really Google the symptoms as such, I went straight to Brain Tumor. I then started noticing other things, like the wee floaters in my vision (I've had them since I was a kid!) and feeling like I had a right hand tremor.....by this point, I was convinced I have a Brain Tumor.

I also noticed that my symptoms fit absolutely perfectly with anxiety, and the more I worried the worse I felt! I spoke to my sister in law (Psychiatric Nurse) last night who said she's 99.9% sure it's anxiety. I'm now feeling as though I'm a bit sick (also a symptom of anxiety) and the pins and needles are coming back as I type this.....I am also far too scared to go to the Dr's about it!

I havr recently met the love of my life, and this is making me feel even more stressed, as I'm so excited about our future, but in my paranoid state I am convincing myself that we now don't have a future because of this!

Am I the only one who does this? Does anyone else understand and relate to this? Also, and I'm sorry but I have to ask, does anyone think I have legitimate concerns re the tumor thing?

I feel like such an idiot, apologies in advance to people who are actually going through this horrible disease.

Kev