Hi there ..

And I could be seeing this wrong, but you've come on here, because you brother who is dying keeps phoning you regularly... really ... I think you'd be more then o.k with that .. that you could be helping a sibling at this end of life journey ...

I lost my sister a couple of months ago to dementure , where we were all with her every day, as we knew we didn't have long with her ... it was an honour to think we may have given her a bit of comfort .. your brother has cancer in so many places ... inc brain ...  and what did you think, we could help with as on here ,we all have cancer or looking after someone with cancer... or worried they have it ..  and I'm really sorry you feel so down because of a call ... I really am lost for words ... Chrissie....

I could agree more with you Chrissie 

Hello Tony, 

I'm sorry to hear that you brother is at the end stages of his illness. I'm unsure if you were in regular contact with your brother prior to his diagnosis, nor what his home circumstances are in terms of support and contact with other people but it's worth bearing in mind that cancer can impact the way people behave in lots of ways. 

Is your brother calling for a chat because he's lonely or does he sound worried or distressed? If you're concerned and unable to visit then try to get in touch with whoever is responsible for his day to day care to see if more support is needed. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator
 

It would seem from the post that these phone calls will soon cease.  Chriss, you said it all. Carol 

With everyone else. 
 

What I would do for one more call with my loved ones lost to cancer :(

Ray’s chats ask the same question, and so very briefly he'll put the phone down on me. I had about 10 calls which asked that he's not had his medicines or that he's had dinner, when in fact he had it 4/5 hrs ago. Something so very not right. 

Good day Christie, it's not the calls, I'd love a long discussion, it's just that his calls are only seconds, and maybe the brain has been affected in the decision area? It's so sad to see his deteriation, he'll get a positivity from me I hope but instead he'll put the phone down after about 20 seconds max, with the same question. Maybe because I'm not used to this that maybe someone hardened to this behaviour could be a little more understanding. I came on here to settle myself, and not to be unsettled even further. I'm finding it very difficult to cope with if I'm honest. Tony

Maybe this is approaching the end, that the calls are only seconds, about a bacon sandwich and lost medications. The nurses may think I know the ending stage, part of me wishes it either it extends, or he is put out of his misery. Either way, I must be wrong to think so?

Then maybe it is an ending stage? :(

Ray is in a care home now, and being looked after constantly. It seems a few snide remarks below angling at my not caring. Should I regret coming on to this forum for a couple have had a pop at me?