Hello there.  I am so sorry you are suffering so much.  It is always hard to lose your mum but especially when it would appear to have been at a young age.  It is clear she loved you very much and you are still suffering very much.  While there is no time limit for grieving by your own description your grief is seriously disrupting your day-to-day life.  I am assuming that you have one or more siblings (you say she loved her kids) - do you talk about your mum and share your feelings between you.  While losing your mum will always be a sorrow you should perhaps get some help to combat the things you mention - shouting and not wanting to be with people.  I am much older than you and still feel sad remembering my own mum's death but I found the grief gradually blended in with normal life and became less acute.  My sister and I still often talk about her.  You might like to consider ringing Cruse Bereavement - they are very experienced at helping people who have lost a loved one.  Their Freefone number is 0808 808 1677.  I feel sure your mum would want you to get through this and not continue to suffer in this way.  If you would like to continue to post here that might help you to put your feelings into words.  Do take care of yourself.  Best wishes to you.

Thank you x

Thank you x

I do have siblings I just don’t like talking about this, especially to my sister, she has kids of her own. I don’t have much family anymore so it’s hard to talk to people about this, today I’m at my lowest I’ve ever been about loosing her. Thank you very much for reppnsding such a hearty message it’s nice to know I’m not the only one that’s still hurting, I don’t like change and this is a massive change for me, I had to move house get a job and greieve at the same time it’s really hard, at the moment I’m still at the angry stage but hopefully I’ll get better soon, again thank you so much x

Hi again.  I am pleased you are posting here as it seems that you would be bottling things up otherwise.  You will always find a  welcome response and nobody will be shocked or surprised by what you are going through.  Tree64's suggestion of a punchbag sounds quite good - you can let out some of that which you are bottling up inside yourself.   I try to make myself talk to people, family, friends whoever.  I would sometimes find myself saying nothing about an issue that was eating away at me and I had to ask why.  Was I ashamed not to be coping?   Did I think friends/family would consider I was weak/stupid to have got myself into a situation?  Whatever when I made myself talk I was generally pleased by the outcome. Everybody has issues and I believe most people accept that this is true of all of us and are pleased to help.  "No man is an island" is a very true saying.   The hurt that you are feeling will get easier, more so if you don't reach out to others. Your mum would wish you to live a happy, fulfilled life.