Together we will beat cancer


Cancer recurrence but just feel abandoned

2 Feb 2023 10:09

I took my mum to hospital on Monday due to general weakness amongst other symptoms and unfortunately the CT scan revealed a recurrence and spread of her previous bowel cancer. The dr showed me the scan and the liver is covered in lesions. She's been sent home and although very weak, I just feel no one is doing anything. We've just been put on the 2 week cancer pathway again so potentially we won't hear anything for another week. 

Meanwhile I'm trying to arrange private careers and guess what, no one is ringing back. My dad is trying to look after mum but she's clearly struggling. I have never felt so abandoned and alone. I think she's dying but no one is helping.

Cancer recurrence but just feel abandoned

2 Feb 2023 13:14 in response to TT41

Sorry to hear this ,no one should feel abandoned. If I were in that situation I would call the GP regularly if need be, for advice,district nurse support . Because you are trying to recruit for yourself , I almost think you would have a better response.  NHS  all care workers are very stretched. Could you take some unpayed leave to help out ? Hope this helps.

Cancer recurrence but just feel abandoned

2 Feb 2023 15:00 in response to TT41

People say MacMillans Nurses are very good could you give them a call or even the cancer nurses on here to see what they suggest ,you need some help with your poor mam and dad .

Cancer recurrence but just feel abandoned

3 Feb 2023 01:20 in response to TT41


Hi TT41,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear how your poor Mum has ben treated. It sounds as if you need to make some waves within the NHS. They can arrange carers to attend to your mum up to 4 times a day. They can also arrange to get a hospital bed delivered if needed. When these are in place arrangements can be made for the district and/or practice nurses to attend. I was in a similar position to you with my parents-in-law who were in their late nineties. My father-in-law was still trying to care for his wife when he was 97. 

We saw a social worker on a Friday and everything was in place by the Monday. She even made a personal visit to see their GP, who claimed that he didn't do house calls. He came to the house the very next morning. My mother-in-law was incontinent and very frail. By the Monday, we also had a supply of build up drinks and puddings, incontinence pads, creams for her dry skin, prssure relieving mattress, booties and cushion. You need help. If you don't get it from your GP, contact the hospital and let them know that your dad cannot cope on his own.

I sincerely hope that you can get this settled soon.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx