I have been with the love of my life for 4 years but we have only really been in a proper relationship (living together) for the past year and a half.
He was diagnosed in December 2020 with melanoma and with the likes of Covid-19 I feel that being in lockdown is making it feel so hard because we can't go out and distract ourselves or see any family.
I have done lots of research and I felt like I would have been prepared for the diagnosis but there was a misunderstanding and my boyfriend believed they told him he was all clear after the initial surgery. We believed this was the case for a week but when we went for a dressing change I asked the question "so now he's all clear what now" and the nurse, bless her, was very confused. After leaving the room and retuning with another nurse the bombshell was dropped. Neither of us were prepared at all. This was a few days ago so it's still sinking in again.
I feel like it's happening to me and then I feel so guilt for being so emotional, I should be positive and I have managed to contain my emotions until now. I'm always the first to get upset as it takes him longer to register what's happening so when I'm upset he's there for me and by the time it hits him I'm over my emotions and ready to be there for him. But I'm scared I'm not being supportive enough because for the past few days anything and everything is setting me off. I feel like I need to see my family or my friends to get it all in perspective and then I can be back to being strong but lockdown has really prevented that.
I can't sleep because I'm Googling trying to understand and now we have been given a date for axillary dissection but it's in another 4 weeks and I feel this is too long. They removed his sentinel node and biopsies it 4 weeks ago.
I understand there are delays with Covid-19 but is 8 weeks too long between a sentinel node biopsy and an axillary dissection ? I'm scared it will spread even more.
Any advice is appreciated. Sorry for the rant.