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Bladder Cancer

10 Sep 2019 21:35

Hi there, my mum has been diagnosed with Bladder Cancer in January, and was offered a radical cystectomy and was advised that she had a slim chance of surviving due to her COPD.  She decided from her advice not to go ahead with surgery and let nature take it's course.  As her daughter, if I'd have known of the suffering and pain she was to endure, I would have encouraged her to take the risk and have the op.  She has suffered extreme bouts of pain, and not being able to sit longer than ten minutes, making her quality of life very poor.  She was told to go home and enjoy her life to what ever time she had left.  That is it, she could not enjoy her life.  We could not take her out or visit families, as her only respite is to lay down to ease her pain.  Nine months on, she has been in hospital within the last three weeks, three times with UTI infections.  She is in hospital as I write this.  She is now nearing her end of life as her consultant told us her cancer has now spread to other organs. Her legs are now extremely swollen and she is so so tired and sleeps most of the time. The hospital is treating her infection with antiobiotics and I am hoping once she is stable, she will be discharged home.  However, she will definitely require 24 hour care.  


My point is not to make you sad, but for anyone going through this, I honestly believe now, the risk of the operation is definitely worth taking.  My mum is having a terrible painful time and I am so helpless and sad to see her go through this.


Bladder Cancer

13 Sep 2019 10:41 in response to Isamolly

Hello Isamolly, 

Thank you for sharing your mum's moving story and your experience and advice will be really helpful to others who are currently in a similar position and wondering whether they should go ahead with the radical cystectomy. It must have been an extremely difficult decision for your mum to take given the slim chance she had of surviving due to her COPD so try not to feel bad about this. I can imagine though it is very hard for you to see your mum suffering so much and I hope the hospital are looking after all well and that the infection will be under control soon so that she can be discharged home. 

It is normal to feel helpless in a situation like this and I am sure your mum greatly appreciates having such a caring daughter by her side. If it all gets too much for you, do come on the forum to chat to others who know what you are going through at the moment. 

Best wishes to you and your mum during this difficult time, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator