Bereavement counselling

Hi everyone, new to this chat.

My wonderul mum died about 4 weeks ago, she lost her battle with cancer after 9 months. Im managing as best I can - have a lot of family support.  But I find whenever anyone asks about my mum or wants to talk about it its almost like a physical pain and I totally clamp up and refuse to process it or talk it through cause it's too painful. I guess my question is has counselling helped anyone with this specifically or just in general? And is it normal at this stage to not be able to talk about it or process it?

  • Hi Meg. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum.  I was only 19 when my Mum passed away and still remember it 40yrs on.

    I think how you are feeling is maybe perfectly normal for you - we all process things differently.  However, it is a good idea to consider counselling and can I suggest you get in touch with the McMillan nurses or Cruse, both very helpful from what I have been told.

    It is also sometimes really helpful to write your feelings down and the forum is a very good place to do that.  It may also be nice to offer mutual support by posting on a thread of someone else going through the same situation.  A lady named Tilly28 (thread called This is sooo hard) lost her Mum last week and is feeling very lost just now - maybe you could post there and help each other.

    All the best and keep in touch x

  • Hello Meg19,

    I see you have already received the warmest of welcomes from Max who also gave you an excellent suggestion to talk to Tilly28.

    To make things easier for you, this is the link to Tilly's thread.

    I hope this forum will help you in this difficult time. We are sorry to hear about your loss. Things must be really raw right now as they are for Tilly and I hope you will both find some comfort in coming here.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator