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Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 09:52

While still trying to come to terms with losing my Dad in May to lung cancer and my Aunty Doris to brain cancer the month before, I arrived home yesterday from a weekend break in Amsterdam to learn that my Aunty Gloria, (Dad's sister) had died.

She had been undergoing chemo for bowel and stomach cancer that had been successful in reducing the tumors. She was on a break from the treatment before starting it again after Christmas. This now brings the total of loved family and friends lost to this disgusting disease to six, three within the last year. Both my Mum and my Step Mum are being treated for Breast cancer at the moment and I have an Uncle who is having a prostate operation today.

We are a close family and give eachother support as much as we can but we are spread all over the country and so when this happens we feel further apart than ever. It is also difficult to get support from a family that is steadily being wiped out by cancer. I don't know why we are being affected so much by it or whether others are having a tougher time than we are but it just seems so terribly unfair.  Why are so many good people, people that I love, suffering and dying?  Have any of us done something so terrible in the past that this is now the punishment?  Will it ever stop?

Sorry just feeling very angry!

Take care all.

Garf.

Re: Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 10:44 in response to GARF

Hi Garth,

Sorry to hear about your latest loss and can fully understand and sympathise with what you say and thank you for telling us.

My last remaining aunt was cremated yesterday and although her death was put down to her heart failing, she wasn't able to eat anything for the last couple of weeks of her life as she told me she had an obstruction in her throat which she thought was cancer which make me wonder if this could have been a contributory factor in her death.

Like you Garth, over the years I have lost my mother, my grandmother, an aunt (possibly two) to breast cancer, my mother in law and two stepmothers (who lived in Canada) plus my father who lives in Canada and I have also had prostate cancer. So I know exactly how you feel. That is why I want to do all I can to help others with this disease as my way of fighting back if that makes any sense.

But you have had this happen in such a short time so it makes it even harder for you to deal with. Plus you have three close relatives still being treated. Like you say about your family, all of my relative were good people who would put themselves out to help others, so why them? Just as you say Garth, life can be very cruel at times

I hope the operation for you uncle goes well and that your mum and step mums treatment is successful.

Take care, and best wishes to you and your family, kind regards Brian

Re: Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 12:54 in response to woodworm

Thank you very much Brian.

I am sorry about the losses you too have suffered. It is strange that going over problems with someone who has or is going through the same thing can make us feel a little better.  I guess misery really does love company.  I keep hearing this quote that I heard recently, "Life only deals us things it thinks we can handle!"  It doesn't offer any comfort at all but for some reason I can't get the words out of my mind.

Thank you again.

Garf.

Re: Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 13:22 in response to GARF

Hi Garf - I was sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt and also your other aunt and your father.  As you say some famlies do get a rough deal of it especially when it comes to cancer.  My father-in-law is being treated at the minute but was advised by his consultant last week he is dying.  I lost an aunt through marriage to lung cancer she had only been diagnosed in March and died in June that same year.

My mum lost three brothers and also my father within the space of three years all died suddenly - no warnings given.  She had been speaking to them the day before each one of them died as they were a close family.

I ask myself that question too why do so many good decent people have to suffer and die and all the murderers and rapists seem to go on living forever - it just isn't fair,

It does make you sit and wonder sometimes.  I always keep my mum going she must have done something terrible in a previous life and she agrees sometimes to have lost so many of her family in such a short time.  She only has one surviving sister left.

I hope your mum and your step mum are keeping well and manage to beat this awful disease which seems to have taken over your family.

Take care

Mickied

Re: Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 14:15 in response to mickied

Thanks Mickied,

It does seem unjust that so many decent people suffer from cancer when other possibly more deserving people reamain healthy. Having said that, maybe we don't hear about the cases involving the murderers and rapists you mentioned because no-one cares enough about them to know they are ill.

Thoughts and best wishes to you and your Father-in-law.

Garf.

Re: Another loved one gone!

30 Oct 2012 19:44 in response to GARF

Hello,

Just thinking about your 'life only deals us things it thinks we can handle' - nope (for me anyway, and especially this year - lost my Dad in June), more like 'life deals us things and we dont have any other choice but to handle them as best we can, even though they are utterly heartbreaking'.  They can keep that saying and also the one that says 'time heals all wounds', and 'whats for you wont go past you' - dont quote either of those if you are within 50 yards of me just now!  You sometimes get the impression that the people who wrote these sayings must have lived in a magical bubble, one that certainly didnt include cancer.

Anyway, sorry to hear of all your families troubles just now, cancer is ****, I hope when it is my time to go that we have got a far better handle on preventing and treating it that we do now - my father and so many others deserve that at least.  Yeah, angry doesn't even cover it sometimes does it?