Adjusting to life with cancer

Happy Saturday to you all, 

 I have a curious question... I am 26 and before I knew I had cancer or had any diagnosis I use to spend a lot of time with my friends and really enjoyed getting dressed up and doing my hair / make up etc and having a few cocktails etc however since my diagnosis .. I haven’t done any of this.. I miss feeling nice and glam - I am a girlie girl. But now I know I have cancer I feel as though because I’m ‘ill’ I shouldn’t have any alcohol and shouldn’t be going out with my friends anymore. 

Ifs difficult because I don’t feel ill at all and feel like I always have done .. healthy! (Decievingly) . 

Does anyone else feel like this? I have surgery in the next 2 weeks and just feel as though I want to enjoy myself before I have to focus on my recovery etc 

thanks, 

j x

  • Hi Jessie,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat - sorry you qualify to join us!

    The one thing I've learnt is that there's no right or wrong way to react to being diagnosed, whatever feels right for you at the time.

    If you feel like hitting the town and living it up - go for it! Even with cancer in it, life shouldn't be all doom and gloom - though there may well be some of that too. 

    On the other hand, if you feel like staying home and chilling - that's fine too.

    One of the best nights out of my life was when I was really ill and on chemo - a very loud live gig (Alabama 3) in Manchester, dancing with friends and family and mixing chemo with pints of red bull and vodka! Not my usual tipple, far too sugary, but the chemo made beer, wine and whisky taste weirdly horrible! 

     

    Whichever option you choose - enjoy it! 

    Dave

  • Hi Jessie. .

    If i were you, I'd do everything I could fit in, in the two weeks ... yes it'll be really hard going .. but deal with treatment as and when it happens ... feel young again .. see those friends ..tell them your gonna put treatment to the back of your mind... and do anything and everything you can ... 

    Sending you a big vertual hug ... so proud of you and your journey ... keep in touch ... Chrissie xx

  • Hi Jessie,

    Welcome to the forum but equally sorry you've found yourself here.

    Skimming the replies I think we're all on the same page.  I'm somewhat older than you so our idea of 'nights out' may or may not be similar, but I had some great nights out with colleagues and friends while going through chemotherapy, and I make a point of going out for a meal with good mates before any new treatment starts.  There were long periods on chemo where I just didn't even want to drink, but on the nights that I've felt good I've been quite happy to have a drink, or two, or more if it was a night out.

    When you're going through cancer treatment you need to make the most of the times that you feel good.  Whether that's getting out in the fresh air, going to the cinema, or going out with mates and having a drink, it's all good for the soul.  The more you can keep yourself mentally well the better and not letting the illness (or treatment) take away you life will help keep you mentally well.

    Of course you may want to shut yourself away a bit, as long as you're doing it because that time alone is something you enjoy then no worries.  If, however, shutting yourself away is a sign of slipping into depression then it is worth talking to your GP or oncologist about it.

    I had one judgey friend who, while smoking in my face, said "oh I didn't think you'd be drinking alcohol given your cancer".  Now I have since discovered that my cancer is caused by a genetic mutation but, even if it wasn't, women get breast cancer because 1) they are women 2) they are alive.  Living gives us cancer.  In terms of lifestyle while all sorts of things are shown to (VERY slightly) increase the risk of cancer in general, the only proven cause of a type of cancer is smoking and the relevant cancer for that is lung cancer!  Over our lifetimes my identical twin has definitely drunk a lot more than me as I have had many long periods of being teetotal (don't know why I just seem to go off it without even realising it).  She doesn't have breast cancer.

    Don't let anyone tell you how they think you should be living your life, most of them won't even know about cancer beyond scare-mongering articles in the media.

    As long as it is something you want to do then get your glad rags on and have a good night out.

    LJx