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Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

20 Jul 2017 20:10 in response to jules54

Hi jules54,

The phrase "There's nothing as strange as folk" springs to mind!

Some people are just so rude, insensitive, ignorant etc. but they have to live in their own skin!

I now believe that - in some cases , at least - stupidity is indeed contagious

Ah thank you, I have had a very pleasant day indeed. My lovely Mum is staying with us for a few days so it is good to look after her for a change. 

Here is sending warm hugs your way. X


Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

24 Jul 2017 19:33 in response to LorraineD

Many of my friends who know me well, did the very best thing for me at the time I was going through the really bad bits. They gave me wine, gin, beautiful writing paper and pens, lovely bath smellies and said, "Is there anything I can do?" I even managed a few tots when I was feeling rubbish, it wouldn`t be for everyone but it worked for me. It is so important to laugh if you can, it is one of the best medicines ever. Surround yourself with positive love and you can`t go wrong and failing that, just breathe.  xx

Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

18 Aug 2017 19:38 in response to Moderator Sarah

You look well - that really irritates me, I feel like saying "yeah not bad for someone who is dying" but of course, I never say it lol.

Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

18 Aug 2017 20:15 in response to AngelCat

I have been known to say exactly that, especially when I was on chemo and had lost some weight. Some people simply can't differentiate between looking sporty & slim and looking poorly & thin! Happy  

Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

24 Feb 2018 09:23 in response to davek

There is a post on youtube I have just seen "Seven things not to say to someone with cancer".  I am trying to post it but am having editing problems - meanwhile please take a look!  I presume I can post it here as there is share function but is  it okay to include all the comments beneath the post?  It was these comments I was trying to remove - to no avail.

Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

24 Feb 2018 23:23 in response to Annieliz

Was it this one?

Number 5 was my favourite, though 7 was close.

This one is pretty good too!


Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

12 Mar 2018 18:38 in response to Moderator Sarah

Some of this is just common sense. There is no good cancer so that gets me the most anyone that would say that. And no one can know how someone else feels unless they have the same thing but even then we are all different on how we handle things, what affects us, what make us sad, happy, what words we would rather hear Happy 

When my husband was going through cancer as long as friends meant well he didn't expect them to always say the right thing. He rather have someone that really cares about him and what he is going through (same with me) than someone that always has the correct words but doesn't bother to visit like they did before or bother to see if we need anything.

Most of our friends now have passed away or moved away with no Internet to stay in touch. Having geniune friends that care about us has meant everything with what we have been through. I have friends that tell me how strong I am when I know I am not strong! I am just surviving LOL doing what i have to but I know they love me and care about what I am going through so that means more to me than if they chose their words perfectly. Now when someone is not a genuine friend, doesn't really care how we are and they say the wrong thing to me then that would upset me. I Keep in mind everyone is different so different things will bother different people and that could leave some really caring people thinking they just rather not say anything to us than to say the wrong thing. I wouldn't want someone that really cares about us to not come by because they were afraid they would say the wrong thing. 

If someone has an easy life, no health problems, finanically secure, loving family to help out, then when they say they know how we feel or to stay positive or how strong I am, those people are the ones that it gets me when they say things like that to me but when my friends that have gone through bad times and/or has severe physical problems even if not the same as my husband and I have gone through then I know their words come from their heart even if they were not the words I rather hear it doesn't bother me. Just them being here for me means everything.

Re: 12 things never to say to someone who has cancer

13 Mar 2018 09:40 in response to Moderator Sarah
What really got me (apart from some of the ones mentioned) was "You look good". What did you expect me to look like? Sthg out of a horror film and if I look this good with cancer how bad did I look before? People do try but it's better to be honest and let me know they don't know what to say.