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Not enough room in this body for breast cancer!

From Lesley Nicholson

When I heard the man sitting opposite me at the hospital saying 'sorry but you have breast cancer' it was as if at first he wasn’t talking about me? In a flash, Lesley the McMillan nurse whisked me off to a side room and put a comforting arm around me as I burst into tears.

I am angry, no I am upset, no I am not going to die, not just yet anyway. These were just a few of the emotions that circled my brain in just a few minutes after being told. How am I going to tell my family, friends and work colleagues? STOP! One thing at a time. Let’s put things into perspective first.

Lesley, the nurse, was very comforting and gave me loads of leaflets to read and asked if I wanted someone to come and meet me? ‘No I will be fine thanks’ and went to hunt for my car in the hospital car park.

I went home in a daze. Got to tell my son and daughter, how am I going to do that? Ok, let’s be honest from the beginning tell them how it is? Oh dear this is going to be hard. How am I going to protect them from this horrible decease? It is still too upsetting when I think about their reactions and I hope you will forgive me for not writing it down on here.

Didn’t go to work the next day, had to get my head together. Read all the leaflets, spoke to Lesley the nurse, what a lovely lady. Looked at all the choices I had, lots of questions still unanswered, wrote them down. Can’t believe how much help there is to support me through this.

Next step - I am a Project Manager and my job is to manage a project from start to finish. Ok, got all the answers I need about surgery and treatments. This is going to be my new project got a start date 8th January 2007 (date I was told I had a grade 2(4cms) breast tumour) end date 31st October 2007 (date that I have given myself as the end of all treatment). Aim of project: - to remain positive, keep smiling and fight. Outcome of Project: - to continue with my life’s adventures which I put on hold from 8th January 2007.

I have enlisted all my friends, family, colleagues, doctors, nurses and actually anyone who wants to or offers help. I feel so privileged to have such a wonderful group of people working with me on this project. Without them I don’t think I would have the positive state of mind that I currently have, thank you all. Please, don’t suffer in silence, whatever you are dealing with it I recommend that you share it, there is always someone out there who will be there for you.

Outcome to date - 11th February 2007. I have had the operation on 6th February, took away the tumour and some lymph nodes. My project is well on its way and ahead of schedule. Secret of my success so far is to stay positive, smile, laugh and talk about your own feelings and help those around you to talk about theirs.

Here, take some of my positive vibes, there are enough to share amongst you all.

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Updated: 28 September 2009